Sunday, 29 November 2015

The fun ride

                        
One day there were three kids their names were Emily Luck and bob they were bored at home they tried to do a lot of things like they played a board game they watched TV they played hiding go seek and they are still bored.So later on that day they went to the garage they found an old Dusty Wegen then they went to the nearest hill near their house but they didn't find one but they did not give up. Finally they found a hill and they went down the hill over and over and over again. finally they were tired they walked home and they had a big Pizza dinner                  The End!                

1 comment:

  1. Harmella, your story was great! You used capital letters very well! Maybe next time, you could focus on your punctuation, like commas when your listing more then one thing. Also, try and explode the moment more in your next story and add a ittle more detail to make it longer. The story reminded me of when I go sledding in the winter all day and have tons of fun! Just like how they went down the hill over and over again all day! Do you like to do things like that all day? You did an amazing job! You're a great writer!

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